The tenth interview in the Desi Divorce Discussion series is an unusual one with a remarkable story that will have you wondering about the nature of human relationships. Meet Rashmi, a single parent and entrepreneur from Nagpur who runs a wonderful library.
I saw Rashmi’s review for my book Rewriting My Happily Ever After – a memoir of divorce and discovery, in which she mentioned how my book reminded her of her own divorce journey. When I messaged her through Goodreads, she responded warmly and agreed to share her story on the podcast.
Like me, Rashmi grew up in Mumbai and loved reading. Moving to Nagpur after her love marriage, she settled into her new life which included her in-laws. But after her daughter’s birth when her marital life crumbled, Rashmi took a long time to come around to the idea of granting a divorce which was initiated by her husband.
Throughout the years of doubt and confusion followed by painful divorce proceedings, she continued to live with her in-laws who were her major source of support. Today, five years after the formal divorce was completed, she continues to live in Nagpur, with her ‘former’ in-laws.
Most of us who go through divorce know that losing key friendships and relationships is collateral damage. But as Rashmi’s story shows, your bond with people may transcend the simple relationship labels that society may place on them. “I got to keep both families,” says Rashmi.
Rashmi started a children’s library in Nagpur back in 2014 when the library scene was pretty barren, even for books for adults. And by pursuing her professional life by indulging her passion for books, she was able to create an independent identity for herself, a big step in opening herself up to becoming divorced, something that she had not ever considered.
Here are some pointers from Rashmi for women who may be hesitating about divorce like she did:
- Put yourself first – you cannot pour from an empty cup
- Once you decide to take the final step, keep moving, the path will open up
- Make sure what you want (your thoughts and desires) match your actions
From Rashmi’s unique story of continuing to have a wonderful, supportive relationship with her ‘former’ in -laws, we can be reassured that our bonds with people that are based in love and mutual respect, can stand any test.
Check out Rashmi’s labor of love – Reading Rabbits Library in Nagpur with its vast collection of children’s books at www.readingrabbitslibrary.com.
Whether you are thinking about divorce, have left an unhappy marriage or are curious about how women fare after divorce, do listen and let me know your thoughts.
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