The ninth interview in the Desi Divorce Discussion series features a highly accomplished person with a heart of gold. Meet Kiran, a trained sociologist who wears many hats, has worked in the corporate sector and as a freelancer, has been an activist and leads a community writing group. She also runs a cozy homestay in a small village in the Himalayas.
I found Kiran’s writing group on Facebook and when I shared information about my book Rewriting My Happily Ever After – a memoir of divorce and discovery, she read and also wrote a generous review on Amazon. More importantly, she made the time to come to the book reading session at Kunzum bookstore in New Delhi in June 2022. From that initial connection online to the first in person meeting and now through this podcast conversation, I am so grateful to get to know Kiran’s many facets and talents.
We spoke about culture and conditioning and how it affects our decision making. In spite of having the benefit of education and exposure to a satisfying work life, the decision to file for divorce can take years before one takes that irreversible step.
Disclosing one’s marital status as divorced can be traumatic due to unexpected and unpleasant response from society and to this day continues to influence many young women who choose to remain in unhappy relationships or prefer to hide their single (or single parent) status.
Whether it comes to choosing a spouse or to leave a marriage, women need to know that they have agency. For Kiran, learning to put herself first has been a huge lesson for her and it has taken a lot of work to make it a practice as well as train her grown children to accept this new empowered version of herself.
In her life after divorce journey, women friends have been the bedrock of her new life. Help and support has come to her from all directions and in the most unexpected ways.
Here are some wise words from Kiran to women who are hesitating on the brink of a divorce include:
- Get in touch with your own true self – figure out what is you want and what you need to change so that you can rediscover yourself
- Know that there are no guarantees that life will take shape and include every single thing you want, be flexible
- Therapy helps for your self-development
- Build yourself up but also build a community
If you are looking for simple actionable ways to rebuild your life after divorce, listen to this thoughtful conversation and know that you are supported.
If you are looking for a restful homestay for repose, solitude and renewal where you can connect with nature and experience a change of pace, do check out Birdsong and Beyond. Kiran can be reached via email at Kiran.firstname.lastname@example.org and on Facebook and Instagram at the handle Himalayan Birdsong.
Whether you are thinking about divorce, have left an unhappy marriage or are curious about how women fare after divorce, do listen and let me know your thoughts.
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